


Am I Enough or Just Your Sacrificial Love?

by danrdarrenc



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny muses on where he stands with Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Enough or Just Your Sacrificial Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration from Clay Aiken's song "Sacrificial Love".

_"I look at my life. I’m married. I have a kid. I am too young for this. I don’t want to end up with a boring life.”_

Will’s words from minutes before ring in my ears as I stare at his back as he walks to his car. I watch until I can see him no longer and then turn back into the empty apartment and quietly shut the door behind me.

The home I love so much feels cold and uninviting, the walls too harsh and yellow to look at and the couch too hard and uncomfortable to sit on. I shuffle aimlessly into the kitchen to pull a beer out of the fridge and end up face-to-face with the picture of Will and I, my arm around his shoulder, that rests on the table next to the door.  
I remember the day it was taken: It was the morning after we told our families we were engaged and Will had insisted we have professional engagement photos, just for us. Will’s Uncle Eric had willingly obliged to be the photographer. We had such fun that day, getting to show the camera how in love we were.

That was only eight months ago. I’m not sure when or how things went south. I didn’t think they had. 

But, I guess, if I really think about it, things haven’t been right between us for a long time. Not since Will figured out I got him his first assignment for _Tru Vista._

I swallow thickly, put the beer down without even opening it, and pull the album Will made for me for Valentine’s Day off the shelf it sits on. I stare at the cover. The **S.K. I Love You. W.H.** mocks me. 

I sit down on the couch with the book in my hands. My fingers shake slightly as I open the album and tears spring unbidden to the corners of my eyes at the picture of Will and I on this couch, our heads pressed together and Will’s arm around my shoulder. 

I gently stroke the photo and I can almost pretend it’s really Will’s face that my fingertips touch. The light that sparkles in Will’s eyes in the picture is something I realize has been gone recently. 

I used to be able to read Will so easily. Now seems like the only thing I can see in his eyes are shadows, shadows that I’m constantly chasing trying to get my footing back and looking for some semblance of the relationship we had only months ago.

I flip through pages and pages of captured moments of our life together: a crappy selfie of us at the coffee shop on what turned out to be our first date; the photo Will took of me with my vampire fangs that he’d promised he’d delete from his phone but didn’t; a picture of me sleeping that Will snapped on the morning after our first time together; our first Christmas at the Horton house; a quick shot of us still in bed on the morning I asked Will to move in with me, just before everything fell apart; me holding Ari the first night home; the two of us staring into each other’s eyes just seconds after getting engaged on Valentine’s Day.

I blink away tears when I turn to the first of four pages dedicated to our wedding. Just over six months ago Will vowed to love me forever. Husbands for life. That’s what we were supposed to be. But now I don’t know anymore. 

Did I push him too hard? Did I make him feel like he had to marry me? Did I talk him into it? Or was marrying me just something for the moment until he could find something better to do with his life?

My breaths become shallow as I stare at the photo of our first dance as husbands. Why is this life not good enough for Will? What have I done wrong? Did I completely misjudge him and that he wanted this too?

I close the album before I ruin the images with tear stains. The wedding band on my finger that is usually so comforting right now feels heavy and like the reminder of a broken promise.

I cradle the book to my chest and stare unfocused at the wall across from me. 

If I encouraged Will to leave Salem to find whatever adventure or dream it is he needs to find to be happy, would he cry, I wonder? Would he protest, tell me he’s not going to leave because I’m here? If he left, would he take Ari with him?

I don’t know and that scares me beyond anything that has ever scared me before in my life. 

As I put the album back on the shelf, check to make sure Ari is still sleeping, and slowly, slowly, so slowly get ready for bed, one question sticks in my mind like a plague:

Will this life, this marriage, this family ever be enough for Will?


End file.
